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for the past four years, I've...

for the past four years, I've wasted my childhood on a sleazy redhead with no spine. I hope the only people you find to screw you will be ugly and loveless, just like you. You've consumed me for all of high school and you won't stop until I was completely depleted. I'm so tired. I'm so tired of heartbreak.
Some guy who was in my class...

Some guy who was in my class at school died last month when the car he was working on fell and crushed him. I laughed. The sadistic fuck deserved it.
why is there a coffee thing...

why is there a coffee thing right there?
I'm 22 years old. I'm in pure...

I'm 22 years old. I'm in pure love with a man who doesn't love me again. I don't fall in love often. What's worse is that he's nice about it. Makes me hurt even worse. Everything in my life ends with a whimper. How many more times will Todd punish me for killing him? I sit in the bitter cold and wish I was in the car with him when he crashed, dying at 15 with love and a lighter.
you are the cutest thing i've...

you are the cutest thing i've ever met and you are too good for me. that's why i waited till the last minute. so i can leave and try and forget about you. i'm sorry you have to pick up the pieces.
I regularly stick my finger...

I regularly stick my finger in my ass crack and then sniff it.
im really sad and lonely on...

im really sad and lonely on the inside. i wasnt always so and if i had enough power i would go back to the days before i knew of such feelings. sometimes at night i just lie away in the dark and cry on my pillows but the next day i wake up as though i never did such a thing. ive become so good at smiling and cracking jokes to everyone that i dont even know what i really want from myself. ive been pushing away all companionship from people who are willinging to give it to me eventhough so desperately i wish i wouldnt. i guess i want to find someone who can make me lose control and make a decision for me because i cant make decisions on my own. i act like im tough and nothing can hurt me but deep down everything hurts me. i'm just a weakling.
i think i'm a compulsive...

i think i'm a compulsive eater.
When I was 12 my sisters...

When I was 12 my sisters friend (16) was drunk and passed out at our house. I kept going into the room to "check on her" and I would pull her panties down and play with and smell her pussy!! It was my first time to ever see a pussy in all it's glory and I think about it all the time.
I fantasize about killing my...

I fantasize about killing my ex-g/f. Sometimes I think about stalking her and blowing her brains out, or blowing my brains out right in front of her.I've told two friends this.If she ever died, I'd be in a hell of a lot of trouble.

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