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confused does he still like...

confused does he still like me? why doesnt he call or contact me then? sigh.
I go to work for 10 to 12...

I go to work for 10 to 12 hours a day and I do nothing work related. I sit online and buy stuff on auctions, and look at porn. Sometimes I even sell my own stuff online on company time. The worst (or best?) part is that the management thinks I'm doing a great job and I just got a huge raise.
i love you, i'm obsessed with...

i love you, i'm obsessed with you, and i want to be with you. i just can't find a way to tell you that.
when i was in high school...

when i was in high school this girl natalie asked me to be her first. that was fine with me because i was a horny 15 year old who had only ever had sex once. in fact the first girl i had is the one who told me that natalie wanted me. man, i was in heaven.so we get together late one night at her house, her parents in some other part of the house doing who knows what, and we start kissing and i strip her down. she was a cute girl with a good body and everything was going great until i tried to put it in.well i didn't know what the hell i was doing, and it was different from the first girl, and i was kind of embarrassed. being the jackass that i was i actually told her "you have a wierd hole." romantic, huh? i actually fucking said that to her. unbelieveable.i finally got it in there and we went at it, i could tell she wasn't into it - i'm sure it hurt - and afterwards there was a little blood stain under her. we never did it again. for some reason she was no longer attractive to me after that.i still think about what an ass i was. i hope she didn't take my comment too hard. and i wish i could go back and fuck that tight little 15 year old body all over agian. i would make it so much better for her.
AIM is so much easier than...

AIM is so much easier than real life because it's just a couple keystrokes and then an enter, whereas real life involves... something more. I truly wish I had as many guts in real life as I had on AIM, despite the fact that I mostly use AIM to get more "intimate"(not sexually) with my current friends, despite the fact that it is a cold machine
i just masturbated in the...

i just masturbated in the library bathroom because i saw some of the posts on this site... now i am typing this really fast so no one sees me writing it
Dad and Mommy argued alot...

Dad and Mommy argued alot when I was younger.Dad used to torture Mommy.I know Dad did.I heard Mommy cry for help.I use to just sit in my room and wait until its my turn to get "Ouchy" as Dad put it.I didnt get it as bad as Mommy did though.I seen all the blood on the walls and carpet when Dad took Mommy to "Go eat Ice cream".Mommy never came back.I miss MOMMY.
some people here are really...

some people here are really screwed, makes me happy
I pretend that being friends...

I pretend that being friends with my ex is ok, when all I want is to have him want me, so I can deny him. I'm waiting for this to happen so I can hurt him like he hurt me.
i hate how most people...

i hate how most people classify other people's problems as being more or less legitimate than others. almost everyone's problems are just as legitimate as the next person's, except people who's lives or safety are being threatened, then their problem is more significant than some fat girl having a crush on the most popular guy in school, or whatever.

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